One of my favorite things about cuddles is feeling the other persons skin . i’ve always been a skin freak ever since i was kid . i love everything about it ,the touch and feel , how every single persons skin is completely different . and Soft skin , OMFG , i love it so much .
ugh , i miss cuddling .
so i’m going all nature ,officially .
no more salon bought shampoo that’s making my hair fall out . I got my package today from my aunt in Iraq . I asked for natural soap . Made with only THREE natural ingredients . i will be using it as my body wash as well as to wash my hair with . For lotion , i will be using baby oil . and only at night . During the day when i want to smell good ill use my St. Ives coconut and orchid lotion ( can’t stop using that ,it smells WAYY too good )
i just used the soap ,and im hair is actually shiner . we’ll see how it is tomorrow and if it keeps my hair clean .
I also mentioned on while back that i use henna to keep my hair healthy since ive damaged it so much with blow driers and flat irons . Well its working great ! my hair is growing ,and its also filling up and looks just great . its soft , and pretty . I brought back 6 sacks when i was in the Middle East this summer . Plus , i love the color it makes my hair , a purple-redish .
He loves me , he loves me not .
He loves me , he loves me not .
He loves me , he loves me not .
He loves me , he loves me not .
He loves me , he loves me not .
He loves me , he loves me not .
He loves me , he loves me not .
He loves me ! holy shit .
i’ve really changed grown in the last 2 months . for the better of course . sometimes i forget people don’t change ,they grow . you can never change someone ,but you can modify them .
You make your own happiness , stop relying on others because clearly they’re not doing such a great job of it .
make some goals and go out and accomplish them .
find a lifestyle someone has and figure out how they got it then strive to have that lifestyle .
stop dreaming and start having goals .
i don’t understand why people do something ,and then they are sorry about it . DON’T FUCKING DO SOMETHING YOU’LL BE SORRY ABOUT ! its so simple folks . i don’t know about you but when someone is “sorry” i lose a little respect for them .
be a fucking man women man about it .
Today is the 3rd day i cant stop crying . I’ve only been this depressed one other time in my life . I use to be able to hide my emotions so well . i was great at lying about how i am when someone would ask ,but now its different . i’ve … changed ? He’s made me change . im not as strong as i use to be . Every time my parents talk about home i cant help but cry . i want to go back ,i want to go back RIGHT NOW !! im not use to having family , so when i m surrounded by them for so long ,and then im taken away from them ,it sucksssssssss . i would rather live in the 100+ weather and in that bad horrible country and be with them rather then live thousands of miles away from them .
all ive been doing for the past 3 days is sleeping , watching tv ,listening to music and reading .
Sleeping has been the best way to keep me from crying . i dont dream ,so its like im not in this world ,its sooooo great .
im so much better off alone . i hate trying to impress people ,its a waste of time and effort . i honestly don’t care what you think of me . I’m more of a thinker rather then a talker . i would rather talk to one person rather then a group . in a group im an as quiet as a mouse . But when i’m alone with someone i can talk like about everything on my mind .
it also doesn’t help that im soo much more mature then people my age . They can’t handle the topics i want to talk about .
so i’m just better off alone really .